


Invisible Monsters

by phanhorsedoris



Category: SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Even too, Fluff and Angst, Isak has a lot of problems, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 11:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15639480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanhorsedoris/pseuds/phanhorsedoris
Summary: Even is still living with his past mistakes.           Isak has given up on life, closed off, trapped inside his mind.                                           When these two meet they’re strugling a lot but maybe they can help each other.               Or maybe they aren’t good for each other as other people say.





	Invisible Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Fic written for skam reverse bang 2018. I finally written this bad boy. It’s not the best and I’m late and it’s mostly not proof read because I was writing it last minute- half beta-ed by helpful brooklinbabybucky. Had an opportunity to wrote base on amazing art by talented artist meonlymine. You can see it here. Had a great time and it was an interesting experience. Big thanks also to the host for coming up with this event.

Summer always brought a relief from the harsh reality of life: Students finally getting the freedom they craved so badly. Adults letting their guard down, enjoying the warmth on their skin. For most people summer meant ease and content.

But last summer wasn't so generous for Even, rather amiss. And with June approaching fast, he found himself drowning in the dreadful memories. It was unnecessary, not rational, but he couldn't fully calm his mind down. There was a constant anxious feeling in the back of his head.

It wasn't hard for his therapist to notice the jittery moves and restless gaze during their sessions. Her solution to his worries was a surprise but after a second thought it made sense.

She handed him a simple flyer from a charity organisation. One she was involved in, she explained. The charity helped people with disabilities and mental problems with everyday tasks. At first he wasn't sure he would be the best candidate, but his therapist assured him that there was a variety of people helping and getting help, and every eager pair of hands was welcome.

And she was right. After walking out of the office, he called the charity number and was set up for a meeting the next day to talk about the specifics and give him short training.

The idea of actually spending his last summer before uni helping others, doing something productive, was exciting. Even his parents agreed it would be good for him.

The meeting with the counselor at the charity headquarters went smoothly. His therapist already called and explained his situation and even suggested a kid for him to work with. He agreed to start right away, not wasting any time. They gave him the address, instructions, and a short description of what he would be helping with, explaining that he would get more information from the parents of the kid. It all sounded good, so Even walked out with a satisfied feeling, already grateful for something to keep him busy.

His friends weren't that happy for him when they heard the news that afternoon.

It was the first day of holidays, so they all met up to chill at the park. His old group of friends, which whom he was happily reconnected with after a bump in the road that came in the form of his first manic episode.

And then, there were his new friends from Nissen, which he clicked with fast at the beginning of the school year. Changing schools to redo his third year was a good decision after all.

His friend group expanded drastically thanks to that, now consisting of nine people, but Even couldn't be happier with them.

"So you're saying you're going to work everyday for free?" Magnus asked, confusion coloring his voice. "What about summer? What about us?"

"It's not like I'm not going to see you at all," Even answered while looking around for a backup.

"Look, dude, are you sure you'll be fine? Like babysitting some kid can be a hard job." Elias was looking at him with a concern. Clearly everybody was against the idea.

"Yeah, it's a lot of responsibility and I don't want you to feel too much pressure," Mikael added.

"It was recommended by my therapist. I'll be fine and It's not like I have a contract. If I can't manage I can leave." He was getting a bit frustrated by his friends’ treatment. Acting like he needed to be patronized. He knew they didn't mean any harm, but it still was not fair. "I'm going to be fine. I promise guys."

The conversation was over, and his friends went silent for a few seconds, knowing fully well that pushing too much would just rile Even up. So instead they agreed with him and quickly changed the subject. But it still left the bad taste in Even’s mouth for the rest of the day.

The next morning he woke up much earlier than needed. He couldn't stay asleep, so instead of laying awake, he gave himself some extra time to get ready.

He changed his t-shirt a few times, wantining to wear something appropriate and nice, but nothing felt right. It needed to be perfect, otherwise the whole summer job could've been ruined. After a few minutes, he finally settled on a simple white t-shirt. Nothing less, nothing more.

He quickly ate some breakfast, said goodbye to his parents, and left his home, strolling happily down the street.

The weather was delightful that day and it only brightened his mood even more. The hot sun was hanging high, and not even one cloud was visible in the sky. All the people around were enjoying the summer weather, catching those rare moments of heat in Oslo.

Even wasn't in a hurry since he was told to get to the kids house by ten, and he still had over a half an hour to do so. And judging by the address he got, the walk wouldn't take him that long.

Walking by the bakery, he noticed a few cute cupcakes and couldn't stop himself from getting one for the kid. He wanted the kid to like him, and offering him sweets seemed like a perfect idea. There were two red velvet ones, so they could each have one, packed in a small container with a bow on top.

When he got near the address, he pulled out google maps to find the place without wandering around the neighbourhood like a lunatic. He checked the address one more time, just in case, and stopped in front of the house.

It looked quite normal at first. A small, white house with a nice fencing,but up close he could notice the dead bushes, very high grass that probably had not been cut in months. As Even stepped up the porch, a few of the tiles felt wobbly, and there was even one missing. On the door, there was a old plate hanging with few names on it. _Terje og Marianne Valtersen, Isak og Lea._

With a shaky hand, he knocked on the door, counting seconds in his head before someone opened it.

1.. 2.. 3.. He gripped the box of cupcakes tighter and took a deep breath.

10... 15... His smile wasn't fading, his fingers lightly tapping against his leg.

25... 29... He stepped from one leg to another, straightening his back.

40... 45... He started to feel fidgety, cheeks sore from a constant smile.

55...60... He checked his phone, anxious thoughts creeping in, like he probably misheard or mistook some information.

Just as he was about to leave, the door opened, just for a few centimeters. A woman was standing behind it, looking at him with a confused face.

"What are you doing here? I'm not going to let anyone take him," A woman suddenly snapped, her voice clearly defensive and shaky at the end. Her posture clearly showed she was vulnerable. Her knuckles went white from holding the door so tightly. "They're wrong, they're just sinners."

Dumbfounded, Even slowly approached the woman. "It's miss Valtersen right? I'm sorry, I'm here to help your son. I was sent by this charity, Helping Hands."

She stared at Even for a few seconds, eyes big, gaze not really focusing on anything, just wandering around. "Okay, you can come in."

The door opened further, and the women stepped away and invited Even inside. He was a bit cautious, the whole situation didn't sit right with him. Nonetheless, he was determined to help this kid, despite the bizarre encounter with kid's mother.

The house inside was a bit of a mess. Maybe a few years ago it looked nice, but now it was just unkempt and frowzy. There was dirt all over the furniture, a vase broken into pieces all over the floor, dishes piling on the table and in the sink in the kitchen. One of the windows in the living room was boarded up for no apparent reason. The air was thick, and thanks to the sunlight Even could notice dust particles flying around. A dog bed laid next to the couch, but there was no animal in sight. A family portrait  hung over the fireplace, but one of the faces was scribbled out with black marker. The whole place was radiating an eerie atmosphere.

"I'm sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting any guests." The woman’s voice was different now, more quiet and unsure.

But Even was not one to judge. He probably caused more mess than this during one of his episodes. Regret and shame were feelings he knew too well. And this woman was definitely not one to blame, she just had a son in need. "It's okay, I don't mind."

He smiled brightly, hoping to reassure miss Valtersen and show her that he truly just wanted to help. He moved further into the house and lingered next to the stairs. "Is your son’s room upstairs?"

"Yes, right. Let me show you." She moved past him and slowly climbed up. Her steps were full of stiffness and heavy. Even followed her without another word. They walked to the first door on the right side. Miss Valtersen stopped in front of it and took out a key from her pocket. The door was locked, keeping her son in. She twisted the key but before she opened the door, she hesitated.

"Isak is a special boy, very sweet but he doesn't really talk. He listens though." She looked him in the eyes for the first time since he came here. "They can't take him away from me. So you have to be careful with him."

He nodded, not really knowing what to say. He felt awkward and out of place. But still he patiently waited until miss Valtersen pushed the door open and let him in Isak's room.

The first thing that caught Even’s attention was how bleak this room was. White walls, brown furniture, and nothing personal, almost like it wasn't lived in. No photos, no souvenirs, not even a computer. The room was half dimmed, the window covered by thick curtains, not letting enough sunlight in to feel comfortable.

Then he noticed a chair, placed in the corner, next to the covered window. There was a young boy on it. Judging by his face and height maybe around Even’s age, but he couldn't be sure because this boy looked completely broken.

He looked more like an empty shell, like a doll rather than a real human. His eyes were pointed on one spot, but he wasn't really focusing on anything. No muscles twitching, no arm or leg movement. Just a steady rhythm of his breathing, the only indicator he was alive.

Even took a few slow steps closer to the boy, not wanting to startle him. He had long, blonde curls, long enough that they were falling down on his forehead, curling around his ears. His eyes were green, his vision unfocused, almost like he was blind, but lacked the haze. He had long legs that were tucked under the chair, and his hands were placed on the arm rests.

Even stopped in front of the boy, but he remain unfazed. The whole situation was just preposterous.

The voice of miss Valtersen made him jump. He looked up at her with a mix of emotions written on his face. "So uhm... If you want to come and watch him for some time, then that's great. You can just bring him water or something to eat every now and then. And I'm going to be in the room on the opposite side."

"What happened? What's wrong with him?" He couldn't keep pain out of his voice. He experienced the feeling of being trapped during his depressive episodes, not having control over his body or mind. It was terrifying. But what Isak was going through, he couldn't even comprehend it.

"He's fine, he's just going through a hard time." She said it with conviction, like she really believed her son was okay. "I'm going to leave the key in the door, just close it on your way out."

He wanted to ask more questions, he was confused and concerned, but miss Valtersen just scuttled away, leaving Even alone with Isak. He was stunned. Shocked from Isak's state, that no one informed him about this situation, and that his therapist actually recommended this boy. He didn't know what to do, he wasn't prepared for a extreme case like this. He stood in silence for a minute, contemplating what to do and if he should just leave. It clearly was beyond Even's competence, and miss Valtersen was dealing with her son just right.

He was on his way out, when he shot one last glance at Isak. A poor boy stuck in a dark room, with only one person caring for him. It struck him then just how awful this boy's life was, and he remembered why he came here in the first place.

He couldn't just abandon Isak like that. It wouldn't be fair. His conscience wouldn't let him forget.

Even sighed and carefully sat down on the bed, while still watching Isak attentively. As suspected his position hasn't changed. Which was terrifying and fascinating at the same time.

He didn't know how to act or what to do. He thought about checking the internet but it's not like there would a be manual for this kind of situation. If there was, he would have found it a long time ago. Besides he wasn't really sure what kind of illness Isak had, so he was on his own.

"Right, maybe I should start with introducing myself," he started " I'm Even, I'm 20 years old, and I just graduated from high school. A bit late but I had a bit of a bumpy road. I had to retake my third year." He looked down and remembered the cupcakes that he was still clutching in his hands. "I brought you cupcakes. Red velvet, one of my favorites."

He opened the container, the cupcakes were already a bit squished, icing melting down the sides, and gently took one of them out. He approached Isak slowly, still a bit conscious about scaring him. Then tenderly Even put his hand over Isak's, observing his behavior, waiting for some kind of response. But once again there was no reaction. He placed the cupcake in Isak's hand, smudging the cream over both of their arms. Even made sure the treat wouldn't topple, secured it, and waited for Isak to eat it. But nothing happened. "Do you not like red velvet? That can't be true. Everyone like red velvet."

He nudged Isak's hand, trying to make him notice the cupcake, but he didn't even budge. Even knew he had to eat, even his mother said so, but without any kind of communication, it was hard to understand what the problem was. "Are you just not hungry? It's fine, I can't take too much sugar in the morning either."

He moved to take the cupcake from Isak, but he wasn't letting him, squeezing it hard. Even was stunned.It was the first acknowledgement of the surroundings he got to see from this boy. It was a confirmation that he was perceiving the world in some way. "So you want that cupcake? I know, it's smells good."

Even waited again for Isak to make some kind of movement, but nothing happened. His fingers remained motionless around the muffin cup, curling around it enough to hold it but nothing more. He tried to remove the cupcake and this time Isak wasn't holding it that strong. It slipped from his fingers, but Isak's hand stayed the same, not closing, even though it was empty. Even didn't know how to feed this boy. Was he supposed to just put food inside his mouth? He brought the sweet to Isak's lips, icing painting them white. And Isak's mouth opened, his jaw moving mechanically, out of habit rather than choice. He bit down, almost catching the muffin cup in the process. Even watched as the boy chewed and then swallowed it. Crumbs fell all over Isak's lap and stuck to his face.

Isak opened his lips again, to take a bite again and it snapped Even out of his staring. He moved the cupcake just in time for the boy to bite down on nothing. He quickly peeled the sweet and brought it back for Isak to eat. "Here, you don't want to eat paper now, do you?"

After that he devoured it fast, each bite more eager then the last. It left him completely covered in crumbs and cream all over his face. The sight made Even giggle. It was weirdly cute. "I see you enjoyed the cupcake anyways."

There was a small patch of icing on the tip of Isak's nose, and Even wiped it with his thumb. It brought a smile to his face, the ridiculousness of this situation. But it also made Even determined to spend his summer helping this boy.

After cleaning Isak's whole face, he left with a promise to come back early the next day.

His parents were already home when he got there, laughing in the kitchen, cooking dinner together. Seeing them like that always stung his heart. It always reminded him that he caused them so many worries and problems, especially last year. He wished for them to be happy all the time, but the truth was, he was a ticking time bomb, his illness always creeping in the back.

He might have not been in his right mind during episodes, but he noticed the dark bags under their eyes, the constant checking up on him, waiting for his next fuck up.

"Hey honey. How was it?" His mom asked, a big smile over her face as she stood over a boiling pot.

His dad was next to her, chopping some vegetables and looking at Even with curiosity.

"It was... fine," he said a bit dismissively.

"Well, thank you for the very detailed summary," his dad teased and put the knife down, turning around to face Even. "Please, don't tell us anything else, we're not interested, at all."

"Okay then, I might just go to my room," he grinned and pretended to walk away.

"Even, get back here," his mother pointed a wooden spoon at him, jokingly threatening him.

He put his arms up and tried to keep a straight face. "Okay, I surrender. I'll tell you everything, just spare me."

"You better," His mom raised her eyebrows and then giggled quietly.

"Fine. So this kid, or rather boy, that I'm going to help, doesn't really... communicate," he started. "It's like he's in a coma but in real life. Like he's his own prisoner. Alone."

His parents looked at each other in concern. Then his dad asked in a soft voice, full of worry, "Like he doesn't respond? How do you feel about that?"

"It's fine. He needs my help and I want to make it easier." He knew they would doubt him. But there was no running from this conversation anyway.

"Are you sure you'll be able to handle that? I don't want it to affect you." His mom was looking at him with pity in her eyes. And it stung, that his every move had to be questioned.

"I'm not a child anymore. It's charity work, something good for a change, and if me spending few hours with Isak could help him then it's fine." He tried not to be defensive, not to show that their parenting bothered him.

"Okay," his mother said calmly. " We just want you to be okay. No one wants you to ruin the work you put into yourself since last summer."

He nodded and quickly escaped to his room. He stumbled on shaky legs and collapsed onto his bed. He didn't want to think about his parents’ words, he just wanted a distraction. He put on some movie he wanted to watched and immersed himself in the imaginary problems of a main character.

The next morning, when he woke up, the house was already empty. His phone was beeping with new notifications, waking him up from a sleepy haze. He reached for it, without really looking, almost knocking it down in the process. The display showed him almost a hundred messages from the squad group chat. Skimming through them, he read that they were making plans about a meeting and Even was not allowed to refuse. He sent them a short reply, promising to get to them as soon as he left the boy's house.

This time, the walk to Isak's house went much faster. His head was full of nagging thoughts, he was contemplating and processing a lot. But the most prominent thing was the broken boy himself.

He knew exactly where to go this time, so it spared him some walking around the neighbourhood. He knocked on the door and was prepared to wait patiently but was surprised that miss Valtersen answered straight away.

She looked better than the day before. She was wearing a nice, clean dress, her hair was done, and she was even wearing a bit of makeup. She looked more focused and present.

"Even! Nice that you came after all. Please come in." She smiled at him brightly and welcomed him with a hug. It caught him off guard, but he quickly recovered and put his arm around her as well. She felt too skinny, skin too dry, but warm nonetheless. "It's great, now I can finish baking while you sit with Isak."

"Also next time just let yourself in, the door is usually open during the day." She smiled at him one last time and left to the kitchen.

The better mood of miss Valtersen made him more relaxed and calm about his second visit. He could hear her humming to herself while baking something in the kitchen. It was a  liberating feeling, knowing he was actually useful.

He skipped up the stairs, to Isak's room. The door this time wasn't locked, so he easily walked inside. It was much lighter, the curtains were drawn letting in the summer sun and  the hot breeze.

Isak was in the same position as Even had last seen him with the same facial expression and the same gaze. But he was prepared this time for the sight. Trying to feel unbothered, he walked over to the boy and sat on the floor next to him.

"Hi Isak, It's Even again. You'll probably see a lot of me this summer, so I’m hoping you won't get sick of me." He smiled at Isak and snorted quietly. "Anyway even if you're sick of me, you can't get rid of me. Literally."

Suddenly his phone beeped loudly, out of nowhere. He fumbled with his pocket and pulled it out. It was his friends once again, with another reminder about their meeting.

"Sorry, it's just my crackheads friends, threatening to post stupid photos of me if I bail on them. They're so dramatic, it wasn't even that long since we saw each other." He sent them a response and put his phone back into his jeans pocket. "I love them anyway, but, god, they can be handful. Like last time they dared each other to pierce their nipples. It started innocent. We were watching this comedy movie— the acting was a bit strange and the lighting was okay, but nothing extraordinary. The cinematography was overall pretty mediocre—nd this girl in the love scene had a see through top and her nipples were really straining. Of course Magnus, one of my friends, pointed it out and was convinced that she had nipple piercings. But Mikael, my best friend, disagreed, stated that he saw nipple piercings in real life and they looked nothing like this. They started to google various photos of nipples to show to each other. And at this point I was just sitting quietly on the sofa when they decided to bring me into the conversation as well." He snorted, remembering the ridiculousness of his friends.

"They asked me for my  opinion. And I'm like I have no idea ‘cause I've never seen piercings in real life. They said they would show me next time. The topic was dropped and we got back to watching the movie. I didn't think much of it, but obviously they did. The next day I walk into my friends apartment and both of the dorks just lift up their shirts and show me their brand new nipple piercings. Apparently they made a bet on who would get their nipples pierced, but it was a tie so they went together to the closest tattoo shop and just pierced their nipples. I was laughing so hard, but apparently now Mikael has much more sensitive nipples which makes for better sex, so congrats to him."

Even turned his head up and really looked at Isak. His blonde curls looked very fluffy and shiny, a little greasy but still cute. His eyes were unfocused but a deep green color that shined under the sunlight. His lips were thin but with a adorable cupid bow that really was eye catching. He had pale skin, maybe a little too much so, but it still played well into Isak's appearance. His big, lean body was a bit unhuman, thin with little to no muscles, still the perfect height though. Even had to admit that despite everything, Isak was an attractive boy.

He stopped this train of thougt fast. It was not appropriate to think about someone else’s looks while they couldn't give consent. He quickly stood up, so rapidly that he felt a bit woozy and wobbly after sitting for a longer period of time. "I'm gonna bring us something to drink. After all this talk, I feel very thirsty."

He practically ran out of the room and down the stairs, only stopping right in front of the sink in the kitchen. Miss Valtersen was nowhere in sight and the kitchen was cleaned up. On the counter was sitting a still warm cheesecake. It filled the whole house with the nice vanilla smell.

It reminded Even, the one time his own mother made him a chocolate cheesecake while he was coming out of his depressive episode. He barely ate anything through the whole week, living off little bites and endless glasses of water his parents were pushing into him. But then his mother spent the whole morning baking this cake and he was able to eat more than a half of it. His mother cried when she saw that. She was trying to hide it, but he knew. She was crying because her son was eating again. After that he vomited almost everything he ate and slept through the rest of the day. He felt like a constant disappointment.

He fumbled around the kitchen when he finally found two cups. He snatched them and filled them with some water. Carefully, he walked back upstairs, trying not to spill too much. He noticed that the door to miss Valtersen’s room was wide open. He peeked inside with curiosity. The room was as empty like Isak's. The same bare walls and emptiness. But it looked more lived in, like someone was actually using the space. He was curious, but he didn't want to pry, so he decided not to comment about any of his observations to miss Valtersen.

He got back to Isak and helped him drink the whole glass of water, only satisfied when it was empty. He laughed when Isak sat there with his mouth open like a fish. It was really adorable.

When he left the Valtersen house that day, he was in a great mood. It was only the second time, but spending time with Isak made Even feel relaxed. It wasn't draining, but quite the opposite. It didn't felt like a chore or a job, it was enjoyable.

He skipped down the street, to his friends’ apartment, hoping he wasn't too late and they wouldn't give him shit about it.

They buzzed him in fairly quickly, which indicated that they were already waiting for him. And he was right, in the doorway Mikael and Mutta were standing and eyeing him up.

"Hi guys! What's up?" He greeted them and tried to push past them inside.

"Not so quick. Where were you young man? What do you have in your defense?" Mutta said with a blank face, standing like a security guard.

"Well, if you really want to know, I was hanging out with my new best friend. Totally cheating on you guys." He grinned and walked into the apartment while he heard his friends gasp in a offended manner.

"How could you? We're breaking up with you right now!" Mikael faked cried and fell into Mutta’s arms.

"Okay, okay I give up." Even sat down on the couch in the living room. He noticed Elias and his boyfriendEskild were already snuggling on the armchair. They simultaneously whipped their heads up and greeted him with a smile. Mutta and Mikael ran after him and jumped on the sofa next to Even. "I was with the boy I help, I told you guys."

"Yeah, but this long? He must be cute then." Eskild winked at him which was followed by giggles from others.

"No, but seriously what's he like?" He knew the question was coming and he didn't want to lie to them, but he knew they would be worried, just like his parents.

"He... He's a good listener," Even tried, but everyone was now looking at him, waiting for more specifics. "He also doesn't talk or communicate in any other way. Which makes him a good listener. I'm not wrong." The statement was followed by few seconds of silence.

"He's mute? Like completely? Wow, that's serious," Elias cut the silence, everyone was a little bit stunned.

"And you're okay with it? Like it's not triggering for you?" Mikael asked in a concerned voice.

"No, I'm fine, everything is alright," he stated calmly, but he was getting nervous. His fingers fidgeting with the strings of the throw cushion.

"I'm not sure man, sometimes things can have a bad effect without you realizing. I read that once in a article," Mutta added as a matter of fact.

"Yeah, he's right. Sometimes you don't know if you're spiraling Even. Maybe you shouldn't go to that boy anymore." Elias nodded to himself and leaned even more into his boyfriend.

"Look Even, I know you want to do something good, but you have to think about yourself first. I have to agree, sometimes your judgement can be clouded." Eskild was looking at him with a pitying look.

"Totally, nobody wants a remake of last year. It was a wild ride," Elias agreed with his boyfriend.

"Definitely nobody wants a repeat of the last big episode. We don't want this boy to influence you negatively" Mikael tried to reason.

Hearing all those things made Even irritated and uncomfortable. It was too much hearing it from his parents, but his friends said enough. "I said, I was fine!" Even almost shouted, realising all those frustrated emotions. "Look, I get that you're worried, but I have everything under control. It was recommended by my therapist for god's sake, so please just drop it."

The rest of the evening had a tense atmosphere. He didn't like to feel uncomfortable around his best friends, it made him feel even worse. When he came back home, all he could think about was how awful a friend he was being when everyone was just trying to take care of him. He was ungrateful and a brat that didn't deserve all those wonderful people in his life.

The next couple of days went similar and ran very fast. Even would wake up early, get ready, and rush to Isak's house. He spent a good few hours there, just being with this boy, occasionally bringing him some water and food. He even went back to that bakery a few times on his way, to buy more of those red velvet cupcakes that Isak seemed to adore. His friends texted him all the time, but they were all busy and there still seemed to be a bit of a tension between him and Mikael that he tried to ignore.

But sitting next to Isak and just telling him stories and laughing and watching him made those small interactions the highlight of Even's day. It was incredible how easy it was to start liking Isak, even though he hadn't talked at all. He was getting attached very fast. Now after something funny on cringy happened his first thought was to tell Isak. Even miss Valtersen asked him to just call her by her first name, Marianne.

And before he even noticed, he was going to Isak for almost two weeks. His parents complained a few times about the amount of hours he was spending with the boy, but he calmed them down by saying the routine and focusing on someone else was actually helping him as well. They wanted him to talk to his therapist but she was on holiday and available only during emergencies. And after a few days they stopped nagging him and asking a lot of questions about his charity work. His friends still would bring up the topic of Isak, but with more wariness. It gave Even more space to breath and actually enjoy the time spent with the boy.

It was Friday and the weather had been slowly getting worse throughout the week. There was a heavy rain going, accompanied by a strong wind, and it was not friendly to go outside. But Even was not discouraged easily. He put on a warm jacket, brought his umbrella, and braced himself for an attack from nature. The streets were almost empty, only a few warriors like himself were brave enough for this. Cars passed by quickly from time to time, splashing water onto the pavement.

The journey to Valtersen house was not the most pleasant one, and when he finally got there, he was soaking wet, despite his precautions. He walked inside, leaving slippery footsteps all over the floor.

"Marianne, I'm so sorry about the mess. The weather is absolutely awful." He took his coat off and put it on the shelf next to him. "Do you have a towel? Or maybe hair dryer? Or maybe like one of those big fans? It'll take a lot to get me dry again."

But there was no reply, the house was quiet and still, which Even found strange. Usually Marianne came down to greet him or was busy in the kitchen. He walked around, but she was nowhere in sight. So he tried upstairs and knocked on her bedroom door, but nothing again. Thinking she just went to the store or out to run some errands, not thinking much of it, he went to Isak. But when he opened the door, he almost screamed at the sight.

Isak was laying on the floor, clearly having fallen down from his chair. It was toppled next to him, one of the legs broken. The boy was breathing very heavy, almost like he was crying. His pants were wet, a big stain down his legs, indicating that Isak had peed himself. One of his arms had a nasty cut, the blood already caked, looking a bit old.

Even ran to him, still in shock. He grabbed Isak and tried to seat him up against the wall. He looked even worse than normally. He looked completely gone, dead.

The wound on his arm opened again in the process and started to bleed. It looked bad and Even was panicking. "Marianne!" He shouted, but it looked like she wasn't home.

He didn't know where they kept the first aid kit, no one could tell him, and looking around the whole house was a bad idea. He wrapped his hands around Isak's hurt arm. The cut was deep and gushing. The constant flow of blood trickled down his fingertips. It looked scary.

"Isak, Isak what happened?" Even was panicking, he didn't know what to do. He was ready to run to the nearest store, but leaving Isak alone was making him worry and shake with anxiety. He tried to calm himself down, knowing that nerves would only make the situation worse. "Isak, I know you don't talk, you don't have to, but please, tap your finger one time if the first aid kit is upstairs or two times if it's downstairs."

He looked down and waited for a Isak to respond, but as seconds went by, he was getting more desperate and more anxious. "Please, I'm begging you Isak. Please, for me."

But Isak was still like all the time, completely closed off. He was properly shaking now, his own breathing was heavy now as well. He felt on the verge of a panic attack. "Please... my pretty boy, just for me."

He was ready to call for the ambulance, reaching his arm for his phone in the back pocket, but then he felt to taps on his forearm. They were very light, but hard to miss anyway. Even quickly looked at Isak with big, surprised eyes.

Isak was still not looking at anything, still pale and still. Even almost thought he imagined the whole thing, but then the taps happened again. This time he clearly saw one of Isak's long fingers knocking against his own arm. It was so incredible that he almost forgot what was happening. He felt two taps for the third time and finally pulled himself together.

"Okay, downstairs. Do you know which room? Kitchen one tap, living room two taps." He was staring intensely, bracing himself for Isak’s moves.

There were two taps, faster and harder this time. Isak’s finger going right over Even's skin. It felt incredible.

"Okay, okay, I'll be right back." He propped Isak more securely against the wall and sped down the stairs. He needed to find it as fast as he could.

The living room didn't consist of a lot of furniture, which made his job easier. He opened the big closet first, but no luck. He moved to the shelves, pushing everything aside. He looked in the cabinet next to the sofa, but it was empty. Finally he found it under the coffee table, beneath a big pile of magazines. He snatched it and ran back to Isak.

He was out of breath and started to sweat underneath his wet clothes. But he pushed aside his discomfort in favor of Isak’s well being. Even opened the red box, almost spilling the contents all over the floor. He grabbed one swab and some antiseptic and dabbed all over the wound. It wasn't bleeding that much anymore, but it still looked ugly. Looking at it, he felt a bit lightheaded, but he pushed through. He bandaged Isak's arm, making sure it wasn't too tight or too loose.

Feeling like he had a bit more control over the situation, he collapsed next to Isak, and let the whole situation sink in. Isak actually answered him. It made him giddy and release some of the stress and tension.

He was deep in his thoughts when he was startled by Isak. He unexpectedly started to tap Even’s arm repeatedly. He brought his attention back to the boy and looked at him with curiosity.

“What is it?” He asked softly, trying to figure out what Isak was telling him.

The tapping didn’t stop, it only got more fierce. Even then notice his still wet pants, that probably felt uncomfortable. He had no idea how long Isak was left alone for. Laying on a bare floor, fallen out of his chair, without any care. Helpless. He couldn’t even go to the toilet and he couldn’t hold any longer. Most likely hadn’t eaten or drank anything eather.

He quickly got up and dug into Isak’s wardrobe, wanting to find something more comfortable for the boy to change. Inside, the clothes were scattered all over, unsorted, creased. It looked like the clothes were just pushed onto the shelves in a pile, forced to stay inside. Even had no idea how anyone was able to get dressed with a mess like this. Hu pushed aside some shirts in an attempt to find any kind of trousers. He had to be very careful to not let anything fall down, one arm holding a stack, preventing from creating a even bigger mess, but in the end he managed to find clean boxers and a pair of gray joggers.

He froze for a second, baffled, not knowing how to approach getting Isak dressed. He didn’t want to impose or cross a line of privacy but leaving him in a state like that was out of the question.

Gently, he put his hand on Isaks hip, curling his fingers around the trousers waistband. “I’m going to change your pants now okay? I’m sorry that I’ll have to undress you but you don’t want to sit in those either.” Even still felt a bit bad, like he was violenanting the boy. He hoped the explanation of what he was doing and without Isak protesting, it was the least conformation he could’ve get.

With a big sigh, Even smoothly and slowly pulled down Isaks pants. One hand still around Isaks waist, lifting the boy a bit to help them undress Isak. Still wanting  to stay decent, he tried not to look but it was unavoidable. With bright red cheeks, Even quickly put on the fresh pair of underwear onto Isak, with only a bit of difficulty pulling them over the boys bum.

After putting the joggers on, he carried Isak to the bed and laid him softly there. Thanking god that Isak was light enough for him to lift.

He sat down, next to the boy and let himself relax for a moment. The initial shock was over but the ground still felt shaky. He had no idea what caused this much discomfort to Isak or where was Marianne. But he left the contemplation for later, firstly Isak well being was a priority. “I’ll bring you water and something to eat, just wait for me”

Even ran downstairs to the kitchen, fully focusing on his task. He opened the cupboard but there wasn’t any clean cups left, so he was forced to wash one out of the sink.

The fridge was almost completely empty as well. He didn’t have much to work with. He settled on something easy and quick; cheese toasts. Thankfully there was some bread left and a few pieces of cheese. The selection of spices was very limited, so he just throw a bunch on top, hoping for the best.

He put them into the oven and impatiently waited. His phoned buzzed in his back pocket, but he ignored it, not in the mood to explain. His feelings were still all over the place, still confused, talking about it would only made him more anxious.

The oven dinged, signilasing that the toasts were ready. He grabbed them onto a plate, almost burning himself in the process and skipped back upstairs.

There was no surprise this time, Isak was laying in the same position that Even have left him. But there was something more natural about his demeanor. Something softer. His eyes still weren’t looking, his face neutral, no emotions but there was something that Even couldn’t quite put his finger on.

He sat down once again next to the boy and brought the glass of water up to his mouth. Isak started gulping it down immediately, droplets running down his chin. “Woah, easy there, you don’t want to drown”

Isak drunk the whole cup in a record time, clearly very thirsty. Even gently raised his hand and with the tip of his thumb, he wiped the lost drops on Isak’s face, softly stroking his cheek. His arm lingered a bit, lightly touched the boys jaw. It was surprisingly smooth and delicate. Naturally beautiful. The boys lip twitched next to Evens finger.

Even has never seen Isak smile, the thought suddenly came to him. It hit him out of nowhere and made him withdraw his hand quickly.

Thankfully Isaks little finger tap, shaken him out of this thoughts and brought back to reality. The motion of Isak finger didn’t stop, until Even gave it a full attention. The boy unaware of Evens internal turmoil. “Someone’s hungry for the best cheese toast in the world? Better be prepared to be blown away with my cooking skills.”

He fed Isak two slices of bread, which he devoured completely. He hoped that the boy wasn’t in much discomfort after that. And Even felt much better knowing Isak got the care he needed.

After that, he watched as Isaks eyes closed shut, his breathing slowed down and the boy fell asleep. Even sat there and watched as Isak got the rest he probably needed. In his sleep he looked peaceful and undisturbed.

That was first time he saw Isak sleeping and the boy looked almost normal in his sleep. It made Even warm inside and happy that at least in his sleep Isak was having relief from the heaviness of his mind.

The door downstairs slammed, indicating of someone coming in. He heard a muffled voice and recognized it as Marianne. He didn’t want to leave but talking to her was important. He glanced one last look at the soft boy and slowly exited the room, making sure to not wake Isak up.

Marianne was walking up the stairs and he caught her at the top of them. She was wearing the same look as the first day. Her clothes were stained and looked ruffled. Hair very greasy and unkept. She didn’t even notice Even until he stopped right in front of her. “Good morning, I’m sorry I let myself in, when you were out, but Isak was in a bad state. I don’t know what happened but he was hurt, on his arm. He was very hungry and thirsty. And I had to change his pants cause they got dirty. He was literally laying on the floor when I came in.”

Marianne started at him in confusion for a second, like she didn’t understood what Even was saying. Then her eyes got really big and started to get a little wet. “Yes, I’m so sorry. I forgot.” She suddenly moved past him to Isaks room “ You can go now.” She said lastly and disappeared inside the room, leaving Even still confused but also very concerned.

He let himself out, but the whole walk back to his home he was only worried about Isak. He missed another call on his phone and back in his room dropped it onto a shelf without the intention of reaching back. He spent another evening mindlessly rewatching some of his favorite movies and fell asleep long after his normal bedtime.

The next morning Even stood in front of Valtersens house feeling nervous, for the first time since he signed up as their volunteer. But at the same time, he had to see Isak. With that thought driving him, he knocked on the door. He waited but Marianne never opened the door, he couldn’t even hear any sounds coming from the house. He still didn’t want to impose himself, but he couldn’t leave without checking up on Isak so he let himself inside. The house was in the same state, everything still was left dirty and messed up, just as he last saw it. He walked upstairs to Isak’s room with wary. His stomach was in a tight knot, apprehensive about the boys well being. But when he opened the door, things were back to normal. Isak was in his chair, in the same position, in the same spot. His arm was still wrapped in a bandage, but it looked fresh. Things were okay.

Yesterday’s events must have been just one time disaster. Everyone has slip ups and caring for a son like that must be hard. It should’ve happened but Even didn’t want to blame Marianne for it. He just wanted to Isak to feel as good as he can. And Even could’ve gotten to Valtersens house sooner and be there for Isak. Instead he let him lay on the bare floor for extra minutes. Even accepted the responsibility to help Isak and that’s what he needed to own up to.

Deep in his thoughts he almost missed the excessive tapping Isak was doing over the armrest. Two of the boys fingers were knocking loudly without any kind of rhythm. It felt like a excited greeting, similar to a dog wagging its tail. It instantly made Even giggle, knowing that Isak was still willing to communicate just made him happy. It felt like a big step forward, an actual progress. “How are we feeling today Issy?”

Even sat down on the floor next to the chair and made himself comfortable. “It’s such a nice day today. It’s not so hot as it was for the past weeks but just breezy and comfy. It’s just the beginning of July but I’m already feel like I had enough of summer weather.” Despite the change of weather, the air in Isak’s room was still very dry and stuffy. Even got up to the big, curtained window and opened it fully, letting the fresh air in, lighting the whole room. He breathed in and let the light wind smother his face. “So much nicer isn’t it?”

The window looked over the left side of the road, which was less busy. There was only two other houses in sight and it made the area feel more secluded. “When I was younger I used to watch throw the windows and pretend that I was filming a movie. I was a big director doing the next oscar worthy film. There was a strict script that I had to follow. I had visions about perfect shots, music. I also was talking out loud, like there was actual crew listing to my instructions. I had a blast but used to creep out my grandma whenever she caught me doing it. I have to say, it made long rides much more pleasant. I was convinced that I’m going to be this big director.” He turned back to Isak and smiled sadly “But life has its own funny ways doesn’t it?”

There was double tap in answer, which Even took as a agreement. It almost felt like a proper conversation, with Isak as a great listener and him, a storyteller.

His phone rang once again. Even never returned the calls from the day before, it slipped out of his mind. He took it out to answer it, but another tap distracted him successfully. “What is it?” Even arched his eyebrows and cooked his head while looking at Isak with curiosity. The tapping was constant until it stopped when his phone went silent and the call was missed. “Oh.. Did you like the song?” The tapping once again rapid, a clear no. “So you don’t like Gabrielle? Are you serious? She’s the queen of pop” Even faked being offended and opened his playlist to find a specific song. He stumble upon it after million other tracks and with a small giggle he clicked play and turned up the volume in his phone to the top. Another Gabrielle song started to play, echoing through the room. Isak’s finger started to knock once again but this time it only amused Even further. He started to sway to the music and mouth out the words of the song. “Come on Isak!” He laughed at the boys disapprovement, it made him feel light and warm inside. He stood up at started properly shaking his hips, staying a little out of the rhythm. He twirled around and moved to face Isak. He started to sing the words out loud, singing them right at the boy. He was having a blast, so he almost didn’t notice that Isak’s fingers started to tap to the beat. It made Even shiver with a fuzzy feeling. He laughed out loud but still kept moving his lanky limbs. Obviously he overestimated his balance and stumbled forward. He was ready for a harsh surface of the floor but it never came. Instead he landed right on Isak’s lap, miraculously not tipping them down.

Isak’s fingers instantly stopped their movements, froze mid air. Even’s whole body stiffed, his cheeks went a bit red, his breathing heavy after his workout. He was about to get off Isak but something caught his attention. The boy was lifting his whole forearm towards Even. Slowly but surely Isak’s hand travelled to his back. Isak’s touch was very gentle, almost feather like and it send goosebumps down Even’s spine. His eyes went wide and he was staring into Isak’s still face intensely. The pressure of the boy’s arm hardened, securing Even in his lap. “Isak…” He whispered, not wanting to disturb the moment. He was in awe and completely stuned. Isak’s fingers curled around his back, slightly digging into his ribs. Even’s head was empty, he was out of words.

They were so silent, that Even was able to hear Marianne coming closer to the room and starting to open the door. He jolted out of Isak’s lap, knocking his hand out of his way and stumbling over his legs. He barely had time to find his balance, when she was walking into the room.

She was wearing the same clothes as the day before, dirty and messed up. A big cardigan wrapped around her, despite temperatures outside being high. She looked exhausted with big eyebags and even paler skin.

“Good morning” Even said with a happy tone. Trying to stay normal.

She watched him for few seconds and then her gaze wandered to the opened window. “Why is the window open?” Her voice tight with angry undertones.

“To let some fresh air, it’s good for everyone.” He answered confused, not realizing any major problems with a open window.

“Why would you do something so stupid? Are you crazy? This window stays closed, it’s for Isak’s safety.” She walked over and slammed the window closed, then pulled the curtain over it. “It stays closed, he can’t be seen like this.”

Even didn’t have it in him to argue.He felt small hearing comments like that, knowing fully well they were true. Besides there must have been a important reason for keeping it closed off. And despite her small posture and tiredness,she was seemed determined. She gave Isak a kiss on his forehead and smoothed out his curls. “Sweet boy, I’m gonna cook you some dinner.” After that she left, leaving them alone again.

Even slumped onto the bed and let out a shaky breath. He felt lucky, that he wasn’t caught sitting on Isak’s lap, but at the same time they weren’t doing anything inappropriate. It was just an accident.

“How about we watch a movie, I have quite the collection on my phone.”

Even helped Isak onto the bed and laid down next to him. He selected one of the films, a lengthy one he hasn’t seen yet. He got comfy, positioned his phone and pressed play.

The movie ended up being a romantic comedy that was surprisingly good. At the end Even was happy that the couple ended up being together. Sometimes an unrealistic happy ending was what he needed. After that he played a new episode of the series he’s emotionally involved in.

He wasn’t sure if Isak was watching the movies, there was no more tapping, but he still made sure to give the boy a good angle to look at his phone and made comments about production of the movie, like he normally would, keeping Isak involved.

He lost track of time, it was getting late when he finally stretched, his phone was completely discharged, shut down in his pocket.

“Okay Issy, see you tomorrow.” Even ruffled the boy’s hair at the goodbye.

He was stopped by Marianne on his way out. She shouted at him from the kitchen, asking him to wait. He turned around and was greeted with Marianne offering him a cookie.

“I baked them today, they have chocolate filling.” She was looking at him with expectant eyes, so Even felt obligated to take the cookie and bite into it. It was crispy on the outside, a little burned with melted dark chocolate, not Even’s favorite. “Thank you, they’re nice” he said politely.

“I’m sorry I was a bit rude earlier. I just care about my son a lot. He’s my everything, the only person I’ve left. I just want him to feel good” Her voice almost breaking at the end of a sentence.

“I understand. But Isak is doing great. Lately he started communicate with me throw tapping, I think it’s great he’s starting to trust another person.” He said fondly, thinking about earlier dancing.

“Tapping? What are you talking about? I think it was probably just a muscle twitch.” Marianne answered, not taking his words seriously.

“No, It really happened. He’s talking to me that way.” He stated, knowing it wasn’t just a coincidence. Isak really was aware of other people. “He even tapped to the music today.”

“Okay Even, Thank you for today. Bye” She patted him on the arm and went back to the kitchen.

It was already getting dark outside. Sun slowly setting down, far behind the horizon. It was a bit chilly but a nice evening nonetheless. The dusk felt comforting, making Even’s walk back this much nicer.

Back home his parents snuggled up in front a tv. They were looking very domestic under a fluffy blanket. Despite a loud noise of the tv, they managed to hear him come in.

“Even, finally you came home. We called you a few times, but you didn’t answer.” His dad gave him a stern look.

“Sorry, it’s discharged.” He flopped down on a armchair, next to his parents.

“Okay” Even’s mother nodded and then continued “You just spend so much time with this boy. We barely saw you this week.”

“He just need my help and I’m doing something productive. I don’t think you have a lot to complain about” He flashed them a grin, not wanting the conversation to escalate.

“Oh, aren’t you a smarty pants.” His dad bantered. “We just think you have been there a lot lately. When have you seen your friends last time?”

“Not long ago. They’re all fine.” It was true, it wasn’t that long ago, but he hasn’t been that good at keeping up much since he started working with Isak.

“Okay, just don’t forget about other things than the boy.”

The rest of the evening went fine, without more interrogation. And at night he slept fine, with a smile on his lips, remembering the way Isak’s hand laid across his back.

Even came to Valtersens house very optimistic and full of energy, ready to talk to Isak and tease him as well. But when he walked to the boys room, there was no tapping. Isak was back to his uninvolved self. It felt like a slap to Even, when there was not knocking for a greeting. He was so happy that Isak was opening to him that the boy retrievement was very disappointing.

He came a bit closer to Isak, hoping that he just wasn’t noticed by him, but Isak didn’t budge. He remained still and emotionless doll.

Deflated Even sat down on the floor and tried to hide his thoughts from Isak. But his mind was wired, thinking what could’ve happened that made the boy being silent again. He replayed last days events but nothing standed out for him. Maybe he was just too much for Isak to handle. It wouldn’t be the first time.

He pulled out his phone at was over overwhelmed. with messages from his friends. They were trying to catch his attention for the last days and sent him a massive amount of texts. He quickly skimmed over them and finally sent a message to the group chat. Seconds later, he was pressured to meet them later in the afternoon. He had no other choice than to agree. He already ignored them for far too long.

“My friends are literally the biggest dorks. They sent me exactly 500 messages in the last day. How is that even possible? I’m also meeting them after that abuse. I was threatened with thousand more. Can’t risk it.” Isak’s fingers stayed still.

“Did someone got up with a wrong leg today?” Even tried to get Isak’s attention “I get it sometimes I would rather just stay in bed as well.”

After that Even decided to give Isak some space and took out his journal and a pencil.

He wanted to sketch the boy for some time and focusing on a drawing would take his mind off other problems. It always did. An easy escape from the real world.

And that’s how the next few hours went, with a small brake with Even bringing Isak food and water.

His drawing was ready  by the time, he needed to go. It was a bit sloppy, Even felt out of practice but Isak was cute nonetheless. The whole time he was looking up at Isak and staring at him to get every detail right. He wanted it to be perfect, to capture Isak’s beauty right.

“Do you want to see? Normally I don’t show other people my drawings but I can make an exception for you.” He got up from the floor, his legs tingling from sitting in the same position for too long.

Even leaned over Isak and opened his journal on his recent drawing. He made sure Isak had a good view and hold it for him to see. “See, it’s you. Sitting here on the chair. Notice how cute you look. Obviously It’s nothing compare to a real view or a photo but…”

“ What are you doing?” Even stopped mid sentence when he felt Isak’s hand grabbing the journal over his own arm. The boy’s fingers slothing between Evan’s.

Isak raised his other arm as well, hand doing motions of grabbing something. “You want a pencil?” Even ask dumbfounded.

He gently placed his pencil onto Isak’s palm and the boy closed his fingers around it instantly. Isak brought the tip of the pencil to the sketch and started drawing. Their hands still slotted, together holding the journal in place. He could’ve feel the warmth radiating from Isak’s body. It kept him grounded.

Even was amazed, he kept his eyes on Isak, watched as he draw messy lines over Even’s previous ones. His hand was shaking a bit, the pressure of the tip against the paper wasn’t constant, ether too light o too hard. His movements were slow and methodical.

At first he couldn’t tell what the boy was drawing but after a few more seconds, he understood.

All of the lines were connected in irregular shapes creating cobwebs. A big amount of them all around Even’s drawing. They were covering Isak’s whole face, pining him to the wall behind. His features were barely visible, hidden under black lines. It felt eerie, almost not human.

Isak kept going, drawing more and more cobwebs. With time he started to press harder, lines more defined. The boys hand unsteady, but with a strong hold onto the pencil. His fingers over Even’s gentle in comparison, lightly twitching every now and then.

Suddenly Isak pressed too hard and torn the paper, marking the previous page. Even lost a grip onto the journal and it slipped from their hands. It slided down Isak’s knees and dropped on his feet.

Isak’s arm stopped mid air, pencil still in his hand. The boy was breathing quickened, his chest noticeably raising faster.

“Is that how you feel? Trapped like a fly on a cobweb?” Even asked carefully, still stuned over Isak’s behaviour.

Two taps followed, meaning Isak’s answer was yes.

“Oh Issy” Even felt distraught. Isak such a sweet and pretty boy was battling so much.

Even brought his arms around the boy and hugged him from behind. The warmth and softness of Isak’s body all around him. He hid his face in a crook of Isak’s neck and just hold the boy close.

A single tear drop ran down Isak’s face and fell onto Even’s arm. And in that moment Even promised himself he would do anything to bring back this wonderful boy.

He was running late to his meeting with friends when he finally left Valtersens house. Thankfully Jonas didn’t live far away from Isak so he got there rather fast. Despite that everyone was already settled with a half empty bottles. He was welcomed with a couple of cheers and whistles.

He greeted them as well and sat down on a chair while his four friends stayed squashed on a small sofa.

“Finally men. You’re late again.” Mikael grinned while sipping his juice. He was the only one that wasn’t drinking alcohol.

“Yeah, I know. But I was with Isak and got caught up. But he actually lives not far from here, so I was only late a little bit.”

“Isak?” asked Mahdi, his brows furrowed.

“Yeah, the boy I help.” He answered confused. He was sure he brought up Isak’s name before.

“Is it Valtersen by any chance?” Mahdi asked again. His words caused Jonas and Magnus to whip their heads up with shock.

“Yes, Isak Valtersen. Why? Do you know him?” Even said carefully, not sure what was going on.

“Do we know him? Of course we met this asshole and his stupid mouth.” Magnus said with anger.

“What?” Even was still confused.

“Okay, he used to go to Nissen. We all were in our first year, he was in few of our classes. But yeah, he wasn’t the nicest guy. He used to be this stupid bully. He said a lot of homophobic stuff. Shout them at other people. One time he even punched a gay guy and ended up being suspended. He also laughed at people with mental illness. When he found out Maguns mother  is bipolar, he started to say this ignorant comments whenever he saw us. I don’t know what happened but at the end of first year, he stopped really talking, sat only alone, didn’t look at anyone. One time at math he just ran out of the classroom without a word and never came back.” Jonas calmly explained.

Even was taken back by that. He couldn’t believe Isak could’ve been that bad of a person.

“Maybe it was just a misunderstanding?” He asked hopefully.

“Nah, no way. We didn’t do anything and neither do others. He was just an asshole.” There weren’t a lot of time boys spoke bad about a person, so Isak really must have been a really awful.

“In that case maybe you shouldn’t see him anymore” Mikeal was quit this whole time but he was clearly concerned when he spoke again.

Even couldn’t process it all of at once. It felt overwhelming. But one thought was transparent and nagging. “So if he never came to school after first year does that mean he was ill this whole time?”

“I have no idea.” Jonas added sadly.

“He doesn’t deserve you. He’s not worth it.” Magnus said with conviction.

“You helped him a lot already, you should think about yourself.” Mikael added.

“No, I promised him. I can’t let him down. It doesn’t matter what he said in the past” Even said that with determination but deep down, he wasn’t completely sure about trusting Isak.

His parents were already asleep when he came back. The apartment was pitch dark and silent. Not wanting to disturb it, he carefully went to his room.

He slumped down on a bed, but he knew he wasn’t in a state to sleep. His head felt heavy. his body too awake. He thought about previous events and how things have shifted. He knew he still cared about Isak, still wanted to help him. But maybe it would be better to just let it go. Isak clearly had enough problems of his own, he didn’t need a crazy Even on top of it.

He sat up and he felt the journal dig into his skin. Slowly, he took it out and opened it at the Isak drawing. The page was destroyed, the drawing messy but it still managed to make Even’s heart hurt. He dragged his finger across it, feeling the tear, the bumps over hard lines. He stared at it for probably too long until he changed the page, took his pens out and started to draw a new picture.

It took him a few hours to get it done, the sun was starting to rise when he put his journal down.

It was a recreation of that previous drawing but now with bits of dark colors and cobwebs drawn by Even. This was the real Isak, broken and trapped in his own mind.

He still had no idea what to expect or how he felt but looking at the new drawing, he knew he still cared a lot and wanted to help Isak break free.

He slept maybe a total of three hours before he was back on his legs again. He decided to skip breakfast and just get the cupcakes again. It was an easier and faster option. He rushed through getting ready and left before his parents were up.

He didn’t bother to knock on the door, he just walked right in. And startled when he saw Marianne sitting on a sofa, just staring on a blank wall. He wasn’t expecting for her to be present this early. But he needed to talk to her anyway, so it played well.

“Good morning.” He said in a chirpy voice.

Marianne jumped, like she wasn’t aware of Even’s presence. She didn’t answer just looked at him with an empty gaze.

Even sat down next to her, didn’t feel that easly  discouraged.

“I wanted to talk to you about something. I know you care about Isak and so do I, but he needs help from a professional. He’s sick and needs a doctor. Someone who will understand him and bring him back. He’s a fighter, the strongest person I know, but he still needs a bit of extra help. I know a great therapist…” He was interrupted by Marianne shouting.

“Isak is not sick or crazy. He’s just going through a hard time and needs some time. He won’t be going to a doctors because he doesn’t need one. He’s doing just fine. So maybe mind your own business and stay out of it!” At the end of the speech, Even felt small. He didn’t know what to say or how to react. He wasn’t good at confrontations, he avoided them. So instead of saying more, he just nodded at ran to Isak’s room.

The boy laid on his bed, with his eyes open when Even came inside. Isak was bundle up in a blanket looking very soft and cozy. Even felt distressed but the view still made his heart tingle.

“Hey Issy” Even said silently.

Isak in a greeting raised his arm, almost like he was beckoning Even closer. He obligated easly and sat down crossed legged on the bed, facing the boy. Isak tapped his leg two times and dropped his arm back onto the blanket.

It was such a simple but adorable action. It made Even warm inside, but it was all mixing with previous negative emotions and Even just felt overwhelmed.

“I don’t know what to do Issy. Everyone is telling me to stop seeing you, but I don’t want to. I promised I would help you. But your mother doesn’t want to get you a professional help from a therapist and she yelled at me, I don’t know if I can convince her. Maybe it would be better if I left. I heard some stuff about you, who you were in school. I’m not sure you need me, I’m just a burden for everyone. Because I’m broken Isak too. I’m bipolar. I’m crazy.” A few tears slipped down Even’s face, he couldn’t hold them in.

Suddenly he felt two arms being wrapped around him tightly. He stilled at the initial shock. Then the reality hit him and he relaxed instantly. He looked up and saw Isak’s head being pressed into his neck. A few more tears fell from his eyes and he didn’t bother to wipe them. He gently wrapped his arms around Isak too and he heard a sharp breath from the boy.

“Thank you” Even whispered, because his heart felt too big in that moment.

Isak just pushed him and laid them down without releasing him from his arms.

Even felt secure and safe being held by the boy and it was the best feeling in the world. He never wanted to leave this bed, leave Isak.

He had no idea when he fell asleep. The emotions and exhaustion must have taken a toll on him. Isak’s arm was still wrapped across his back, he could feel the boys whole body next to him. Still hazed with sleep Even opened his eyes and closed them right back at the bright light. He felt a few taps on his waist and he stirred under the touch.

“Yhm, I’m awake” He mumbled.

He braced himself for the impact and opened his eyes again. This time the whole image of Isak’s face came into his view. The boy was looking at him with a small smile on his face. And it took Even a few more seconds before he caught up with it.

“Wait? Who are you and what have you done with my Isak?” Even giggled with happiness. It felt surreal. The boy was here, finally fully here. He brought his hand to Isak’s face, just to feel the smile. He stroked Isak’s cheek and the boy snorted. It was such a cute and unexpected sound that Even just fully laughed out loud.

“You’re really here…” Even said with disbelieve. And Isak grinned at him even harder.

He dropped his head onto Isak and breathed him in. He felt the boy shiver underneath him. It felt ecstatic getting all of this reactions from Isak. He was going to take full advantage of them.

He felt his phone vibrate against in his pocket, but he wasn’t ready to leave their bubble and go back to the real world. “Can I stay here with you? Forever?”

Isak just nodded eagerly.

So Even did. He ignored everything else and stayed in bed the rest of the day with Isak. They cuddled, ate cupcakes Even bought for them. He played some more music he liked and most of the songs were approved by Isak. Even talked a bit more about his friends, his parents and the boy listened all his stories.

But this whole interactions were visibly draining Isak fastly. After being closed off for so long it was hard for the boy to have enough energy. So early in the evening Even let Isak sleep with a promise of coming back early the next day.

He didn’t want to leave, especially with Isak asleep right next to him. But he knew his parents would have worried otherwise and a little space was good for the boy. Even didn’t want to drain him and put him under too much after opening for the first time. He got up, but Isak stirred in his sleep and reached out for him. Even took Isak’s hand and squeezed it.

“I’ll be back as fast as I can.” He leaned down and kissed Isak on his forehead as a goodbye.

When he got home, his parents were waiting for him. Both of them were visibly tense.

“Hey son. We called you. You didn’t answer again Even.” His father said right away.

“I know, but I was busy with Isak and then forgot.” He explained shortly, bracing himself for whatever was about to come.

“It’s okay. We’re just worried.” His dad added softer. “But we need to talk.”

Even nodded, he figured this much.

“So your therapist called, apparently you didn’t get back to her ether.” His mom started.

“I must have forgot as well. I’ll call her tomorrow.” He provided.

“The thing is, she spoke to the charity organisation you signed up to. And there was a mistake. You never were supposed to help Isak. The names must have been mixed up.” His mother continued.

“Okay, but I don’t see a big deal. Why does it matter?”

“Because it’s not good for either of you. He’s a special case, very delicate. He needs someone with experience. And you shouldn’t tangle yourself in problems like that. Not after everything you achieved. You’re balanced, you haven’t had an episode in a long time. Please Even you have to understand.” He heard his father’s words but couldn’t understand them.

“I don’t get it. Isak improved so much lately with me. He looked at me today. He smiled. He hadn’t done that in god’s know how long” He rushed his words out.

“But think about yourself Even. No one wants you to go through that hard time like last year. With you going to university you should be extra careful. We want what’s best for you. And Isak is better without you.”  

“I care about him. He needs me. I need him.” He choked out. And then added more quietly. “I might have feelings for him”

It was the first time he truly acknowledge it, but he knew it was true. Isak was beautiful, a fighter and a amazing person. Even if they didn’t know each other so well, they understood the other person. He wanted to help Isak through his journey to recover and get to know the real him.

“Oh Even… How did this happened?” His mother asked carefully.

“I don’t know mum, it just did.I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose him.” He struggled a lot of issues after last year. And letting people in was a major one. He didn’t want to be a burden and let people down. When he broke up with Sonia, two years ago, he didn’t date anyone. There were a few crushes here and there but the relationship and feelings were too much for him. But with Isak he felt ready and excited about the possibility.

He stayed up with his parents talking through the whole evening. They were wary about letting Even continue to see Isak but they wanted to see him happy too. So they made some adjustments. He promised to talk to his therapist and don’t neglect himself or people around him. And it felt good. It felt like things were really looking up.

Even wanted to do something special for Isak so he came out with a small idea. He took some stuff from his house and made list of groceries needed to be bought.

When he got to Valtersen’s house, he didn’t came in right away. Instead he when in the back yard and got things ready. It took some time to get everything just like in his vision but eventually he was happy with it.

When he eventually came to the house, Isak was sitting in his chair like always but this time, when he saw Even he stood up on a shaky legs and opened his arms waited for a hug. It was so precious that it made Even skip into Isak arms.

“Good morning Issy” He whispered into Isak’s hair. He felt the boy’s hands tightened around his waist and it felt really grounding. “I can get used to treatment like this”

He let go, but still held Isak, supporting some of his weight. “How do you feel about a small surprise in the garden? Do you feel like going outside today?”

Isak seemed apprehensive at first. A bit nervous. The boy bit his lip and looked like he was considering the idea.

“It’s okay, we can stay here if you feel like a day in. I’m sure that bed would gladly have us in it.” He didn’t want to put pressure on Isak. He was excited about spending time with the boy but even if it was in his room, he would understand.

But Isak tapped his arm two times and looked a bit more confident. “Are you sure? Cause I can be ready to snuggle the heck out of you right now”

Isak only grinned and tapped two times again. Even felt so proud of this brave boy.

He took him under his arm and slowly but surely helped him down the stairs. It took some maneuvering but they managed to get down without falling.

Even led the boy to the back door and opened it letting Isak outside for the first time in months.

Isak instantly lit up, when he saw the picnic Even prepared. There was a basket full of goodies, some chocolates, crisps, sandwiches and fruits. There was a big bouquet of roses for Isak. A slow music was playing from the speakers he set up. All on a fluffy blanket he found at the bottom of his closet. It wasn’t much but it was secluded and something Isak probably has never experienced.

And Isak looked at him with teary eyes and a smile on his face and Even knew he will do a hundred more dates like this, just to see the happiness on the boy’s face.

“Do you like it?” Even asked, even though it was pretty clear. Isak nodded eagerly and tried to pull him to the blanket, only he still was a bit weak and almost fell down onto a grass.

“Be careful Issy, don’t want you to have any grass accidents.” He secured the boy and sat them both down.

The weather was perfect for a picnic, warm with a clear sun, but a light breeze easened the hot temperature.

Even took out some of the treats and laid them all next to them. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted so I took a few things, just so you could have a choice.” Even said sheepishly after he notice the amount of food he brought.

Isak rolled his eyes at him and took one of the strawberries and plonked it whole into his mouth. He moaned around it and then throw the cap from the fruit at Even.

He pretended to look offended and fake gasped, clutching his chest. “After all of this you’re just going to abuse me? What have I deserve for this kind of treatment?”

Isak only giggled and kissed him on the cheek. It was chaste and unexpected but Even’s face went red almost immediately. The boy just snorted and went back to eating.

After stuffing themselves fully, they laid down with their hands intertwined.

Isak closed his eyes at basked in the sunlight. There was now some color to his cheeks, a crease where his eyes crinkled. Even wondered what was the last time Isak been outside. Was it right after his break down? Was he aware that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it for a long time? Or was he so far gone already that he couldn’t care less? Even had no idea what exactly went down, what got Isak to the state he is. He was curious of course but looking now and the boy with his nose crinkled and a smile on a face he understood it didn’t matter. Maybe one day they would tell each other all the secrets, all the memories but in that moment they all they had was present. And if that was what Even only got, it was enough.

They were starting to get up, Isak still was drained by being awake a long time and needed to have a nap. When Suddenly Marianne out of the house with a angry face. Isak froze immediately, his whole demeanor changed drastically. Before Even could react, she was dragging Isak back inside. “What is wrong with you? He can’t be let out. He needs to stay in his room. They’re going to take him away from me! And it’s going to be your fault. The goverment can’t know about it. They have spies everywhere. Maybe you’re the spy!” She was shouting at him and pushing the boy with no remorse. Isak wasn’t reacting, wasn’t fighting. He had that empty look on his face again, but there was tears in his eyes.

Even couldn’t handle it, he ran up to Marianne but she caught him by surprise. She pushed him with her arm with enough force, and he stumbled behind, falling over on his back. He tried to get up quickly but it was too late. She closed the door and took Isak with her.

He knew now he couldn’t leave the boy in that house. It wasn’t safe for him or healthy.

He tried the front door but it was closed as well.

His elbow was scratched and he was pretty sure he had an bruise forming on his lower back. He had no idea what to do. Fighting right now was pointless, so he decided to come back home and be smart about it.

The flat was empty, his parents still in work. He went to the bathroom and cleaned his scratch. At second look it wasn’t that bad, so he left it without putting a bandage on it.

He slumped down onto the toilet and thought about his plan. He could’ve brought Isak here, he was sure his parents wouldn’t mind. But Isak wouldn’t have his own space, so it would only be a temporary solution. Isak still needed time to breath and be alone. But at the same time, he knew he needed to get him out of the house.

Thankfully an idea came to him. His friend Nora recently have moved out from her room, and Eskild was still looking for a new roommate. Even didn’t waste any time and texted him right away.

Early in the morning Even grabbed two of his bags and rushed to Valtersen house. It sun was just starting to rise, so it was still a bit dim outside. The light breeze turned into a chilly wind. But Even didn’t pay attention to any of it, he needed to get to Isak as fast as he could.

He stood in front of the door and listened for a moment, trying to catch if Marianne was awake. But it was dark and silent inside. With a tight chest, he tried to open the front door. He had no idea how he would get in, if it was closed. He crossed his fingers and wished that for once things would go smoothly.

The door budget under his hand and opened with a creak. He held his breath and waited for something. When he knew it was safe to come in, he ran upstairs to Isak’s room. The door was locked, but the key was left inside.

He was scared of what was waiting behind for him behind the door, what state Isak was in. But the boy was just soundly sleeping on the bed, covered by a big blanket. Even kneeled in front of the sleeping boy and gently stroked his face till Isak was awake.

At first the boy’s eyes were emotionless and Even got scared he lost him but after few blinks the recognition and awakeness kicked in.

“Hey baby. I’m sorry for waking you up, but we have to go” Isak looked at him confused and a bit scared. “I don’t want to leave you here. I want you to get better and sometimes it means getting away from people for a while. Even if they’re your parents. I’m not going to make you, but if you’re ready my friend has a empty room ready for you. He’s a good person who will help you. And of course I’ll be with you the whole time. We’ll find you a therapist and you’ll get better Issy. You’re a real fighter and I love that about you.” With a small smile he added “The past doesn’t have to define you” And he meant it. Letting go was okay, moving on from bad memories was okay. He learned from them but he wasn’t the same person he was just over a year ago.

Isak raised his hand and tapped twice against Even’s cheek. And then he propped himself and kissed Even, right on the mouth.

Isak always knew how to surprise him and how to go out of his way. But that time Even had air knocked out of him. He melted against Isak’s lips right away. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. They just fitted together. Despite all the adversities, all the the people saying it wasn’t right, they found happiness in each other.

They parted and Even still felt dazed from the kiss. “Wow”

After that they quickly packed some of Isak’s stuff. There wasn’t much, since Isak was closed off for so long but it also meant lighter bag for Even to carrie as well. He knew Isak would find new souvenirs in the future.

He couldn’t take Isak to a public transport so he called a taxi. It still was a stressful situation for him. The boy was shaking the whole ride, gripping Even’s hand hard and looking only down on his feet.

When they finally arrived, Eskild was already waiting for them outside.

“Hey boys, come in” Eskild took the bag from Even, while he helped Isak who was clinging to him all the way to the flat. Isak took his suroundings and looked a bit intimidated and exhausted.

“Hello Isak, I’m Eskild. Welcome to your new home. I would give you a tour but you look like you need some good rest, so how about I’ll show you your room and let Even tuck you in.”

Isak nodded shyly, still leaning on Even.

Eskild led them to Isak’s new room and put down the bag. “Settle in. It’s your safe space now.” He smiled at the boy and left them alone, closing the door behind.

The room was a bit smaller than Isak’s previous one, but looked more cozy and warm. He let Isak take everything in, watching as the boy observed the room with wide eyes. Then he gazed at Even and almost jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly.

And it wasn’t the solution to all of their problems, future still seemed uncertain. They had feelings for each other but Even was still learning to love again and Isak was just starting to live again. They were still just learing things about each others personalities. Still had problems of their own that couldn’t be cured by love. Everything was still new and unstable.

But they inspired each other to be a better person, they helped each other when the other person fell. And they were full of hope. And maybe it was enough to get through another day.

“Welcome to your new home baby”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks if anyone have read this. Hope the mistakes weren’t too much. Also after a year of skam ending I still love this show to the bits. Miss the babies a lot.


End file.
